Sweet Dreams are Made of This

Y’all, it’s no laughing matter that I have had the worst dreams lately, thanks to Lexapro and sleeping pills. Well, and a catastrophic life event. I can’t say that my dreams are actually weirder than normal, or if it’s just that the anti-depressants make me remember them more.

I don’t really talk about my dreams too much because sometimes even the most horrific of dreams will sound funny to the rational conscious mind in the light of day. But many times I wake up drenched in sweat, breathing hard and my heart racing. And when you are alone in bed, those aren’t necessarily good signs.

Anyway, last night STBEX had Betsey and I didn’t work, so I took my sleeping pills early and was crashed in bed by 9:30. And I did have a really scary dream but quickly fell back to sleep. Then I had the best dream I’ve had in ages. Delusional, but wonderfully sweet.

In my dream, it was now, but I was 19 weeks pregnant. Apparently I got pregnant the last time we sleep together and was just now discovering it. But I had just confirmed the pregnancy, and found out that we were having another girl. We were planning our remarriage. Our second wedding. And we were discussing possible dates, venues and details of the wedding. It was wonderful.

I woke up in a good mood for the first time in ages. I know, I know. It’s just a dream. But it was a nice change of pace to not wake up trying to clear my head of disturbingly awful images.