Considering

I was at the therapist today and we talked about how proud I am that I haven’t taken a sleeping pill in a full week, and have been able to sleep. That hasn’t happened since November. I’m pretty excited about that. I also haven’t needed anxiety meds either since right after the first of the year.

Then I wondered aloud about whether I need my anti-depressants. I have some question about this.

First let me say that I do not judge anyone for needing anti-depressants. But I know that there are two groups of folks – the folks who are having a tough time and the meds help them through the rough patch, but aren’t needed every day for their whole lives, and the folks whose brains just as a rule don’t produce the right combination of chemicals and they will always need the meds to function normally. The problem is that I don’t know which group I fall into. I am definitely feeling better, and wonder if I can stop taking the anti-depressants. But that’s a common pitfall of people suffering from depression. They start to feel better and think it’s time to stop taking the medication. On the other hand, I’m learning how to deal with my emotions, I’m getting talk therapy. Is that enough to keep me from sinking into depression without the meds?

My therapist reminded me that I respond very quickly to the meds. When I first start taking them, I never have to wait the three weeks they advise before I can start to feel better; I will start to feel better within a day or two. And conversely when I go off, or forget to take them for a day or two, I can feel it. This leads her to believe that I fall into the category that will need meds for my whole life, not just in stressful situations. That makes sense to me.

In any case, now is not the time to go off, I don’t think. I’ll stay on them for now and think about it in a few months. At least I know that if I stop them and need to start again, I will be able to feel the benefit again pretty quickly.  No decisions